I don’t really know what’s wrong with me lately… I change moods faster than the speed of light. I’m typically nonchalant about everything, only giving attention to the more important matters in my life that I deem are worthy of my time. Lately though, I’ve been little miss oversensitive. I make a huge deal out of the simplest of things which eventually either irk, distract, depress or plainly annoy me.

At first I thought it’s because of my monthly crimson tide. It’s not a secret that I often transform into a bad-tempered monster whenever it’s that time of month. I guess it’s safe to say that having major mood swings while the tide is high is just normal, for most women at least. But what I’m experiencing now is out of the ordinary, and unfortunately, I can’t seem to deal with it. The more I dig deeper to find out the real reason why I’m going through this, the more I become distracted… depressed… lost. It even comes to a point that it already scares the shit out of me, and I hate it.

 

I’m a very troubled soul.

 

*bangs head on the wall*

College. Love it or hate it.

If I were to be asked if I enjoyed my stay in college, I’d immediately answer “I LOVED IT” (past tense, I graduated a few years ago) without batting an eyelash. In fact, I loved it so much that I miss everything about it… yes, even things that I’d rather forget but can’t, and won’t.

Anyway, I got this idea from one of my bestfriend’s blog entry. Here are things that I miss the most about college.

1. Cutting classes - I blame this on (and give thanks to) professors who don’t check the attendance. Now that I think about it, I barely did anything productive whenever I cut classes with my friends… except for maybe cramming for an exam or finishing school requirements the last minute. Loved those times though… made me feel like, erm, I really was a college student. Hahaha.

2. Restaurants along Taft and inside campus – Aaah, the fun of being surrounded by fastfoods and restaurants. We practically ate at a different place everyday, be it inside or outside the campus — from Agno, Z2, La Casita to McDonalds, Kenny’s, KFC, Starbucks etc. It’s fun debating with friends on where to eat and quite a challenge to find an available table that will seat 10 (or more) people, especially during U-break.

3. UAAP – I’m very much proud to say that I witnessed and was part of La Salle’s 4-peat last 2001. It was fun riding the MRT from school to Araneta with tons of people wearing green (both strangers and friends), shouting at the top of my lungs during the game, and losing my voice after a victorious feat. Animo parties are as fun as being in the game itself, and I’ve attended a few… I miss that, too.

4. Stalking campus hotties – Need I elaborate on this? I love La Salle. *wink*

5. Malling, night-outs and out-of-town trips - I was seldom at home when I was in college. I was either in school or out with friends or family. My life experienced and is still experiencing quite a drastic change in this aspect. Nowadays, I can only be found in two places – at home or at the office. What a sad life.

6. Freetime – Well, I still have this… but I’d rather rest and sleep. Haha.

Rar, I’m tired already. I believe there are quite a few items that I failed to include in this list, but the ones already here are the things that really made a mark. BTW, I made the items in this entry general to make it a little less cluttered. I’ll go to specifics on a separate post that I’ll be composing soon.

So there. ^_^

Adapting to a new environment has never been easy for me. Either I make it hard for myself because of a self-made monster, or the people around me make it hard for me to break the walls and enter.

A few months ago, I joined the pack of a multi-national petroleum company… my first official corporate job. As with all new things and experiences, I felt scared and excited at the same time. It’s a good thing that the people I took the onboarding with were not pricks that I’d loathe the rest of my life but had to live with. They were, to my surprise and relief, as normal as me (except for their corporate experiences and titles). It wasn’t an issue that I was not a licensed engineer or CPA… or that I never was employed prior to that. All’s well and good. Sadly, never had the chance to bond again with them after our onboarding. Everybody’s been busy.

As with my teammates, well, let’s just say that this group is a different cup of tea. They’re not bad people, just hard to figure out at times. Quite diverse personalities in such a little group… eclectic would be an understatement. This may be the reason why up until now, there’s still this nagging fear in my head that I don’t really belong, although it seems (and I stress, SEEMS) that I do.

A metaphor I could think of that could best describe how I feel right now is the paranoia of a housemate inside the Big Brother house. Corny, but true. After months of being with the same people everyday, people that were once strangers and nobodys in my life, there comes a point that you become unsure of everything and everyone. A lot of issues arise, the definite front runner is DOUBT. You don’t know who and not to trust, who’s saying truths or lies, who’s a real friend or not. A feeling of being talked about behind your back will often bug you. A feeling of being left out always kicks its way in, when in fact, it shouldn’t. Or should it? SEE WHAT I MEAN? Doubts.

What an emotional disaster. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that there are still people that I can run to when things get all cluttered and difficult. People that put sense back into my life, clearing my mind of all the what-ifs and whatevers.

And with this, I’m saying thank you to the real people in my life. You know who you are. Don’t let me go. ^_^

I have come to a ridiculous realization about myself whenever I’m in the process of creating a new blog, or a new account for just about anything for that matter. Each and every time I sign up for a new account, it takes me HOURS to just think of a username, and barely a minute to complete the whole process after that. Eventually becomes annoying, really.

And now I have this new account… and yes, took me quite a while to think of a username. I was actually choosing between greenisin (because of my love for the color) and poopinthewoods (because of my love for David Anders (will further explain in a future post)). Obviously, I chose the former. No doubt, poopinthewoods is cute… but it’s absurdly long.

Hello new blog.
Howdy lurkers, friends, and friends-to-be.

Let this be the start of a beautiful friendship.